Mindfulness Based for Stress Reduction

Mindfulness, meditation, and mindset. Something that seems so simple, but also so extremely challenging. These tools have been used for thousands of years, but it feels like now more than ever people are truly finding out how important mindfulness really is at creating a life that is fulfilling. For me, really this means finding ways to come off “automatic pilot,” and be more aware. Mindfulness is about cultivating calmness by having one-point attention. When thoughts or feeling come up, you don’t ignore them or judge them. You simply note those thoughts internally but with no judgment. This noting of thoughts that comes into your head can lead to you feeling less caught up in them and give you a better perspective on your reactions to everyday stress and pressures. Observing emotions from a step back like this can help you see much more clearly what is actually on your mind. Really the goal is to be more aware and in touch with life and whatever is happening in your own body and mind at the time it is happening, in the present.

I’m not gonna lie, focusing on this work is something I’ve procrastinated for a VERY LONG time. I knew it was important, but every time I would try meditating or working on mindfulness exercises I would judge myself and convince myself I didn’t know what I was doing so it was useless.

I’ve definitely struggled with anxiety in the past, but I had noticed that in the last few years it’s crept up a bit more. The crazyness of having my own business, living in San Francisco, and other life stressors were starting to affect my health and sleep. I could see that I wasn’t present often, and felt like I was always stuck in the future or past. It took one scary incident for my anxiety to rear its ugly head again, and a tearful conversation with a friend to finally help me realize it was time to dive into this part of my health and set some mental PR’s. During that conversation he mentioned the Mindfulness Based for Stress Reduction course, and thought that could be a great start to helping me work through these issues.

I literally started the class that week, not gonna lie, it was really difficult in the beginning. The class met on Thursdays which was probably my busiest work day. I knew I was going to be pretty tired during it, and I had a quick turn around after to get back to all of my afternoon/evening clients. The first few classes I noticed that literally the whole 3 hours, I was worried I was going to be late to my 4pm client (I was always 20 minutes early). At the end of those few classes, I totally checked out and was literal thinking about if I should leave, when I should call a car, basically being crazy anxious. I also fell asleep MANY times in the beginning when we were ‘meditating’ (oops). There were days where I totally questioned what I was doing, would this even benefiting me? Was I doing it right? Am I going full fledged hippy at this point?

Finally, something seriously clicked. The first thing I noticed was that I was dealing with stress better and calming down (coincidence, I think not!). I noticed that I was slowing down more often, noticing more, and paying attention much more deeply. It helped me notice when I was trying too hard or over doing things, and MAJORLY helped me with communicating in relationships and hard situations by focusing on empathy and compassion with others especially in frustration or difficult conversations.

I’m not saying that ‘mindfulness’ can necessary fix every problem, but it does give you the tools to deal with thing in a better more thoughtful way. The course did a wonderful job of giving students an array of tools to pull from to hone this skill, here are a few..

Meditation/ Body Scan/ Breathing/Mindful Walking are all great exercises to SLOW DOWNN. We learned about each, and how each can bring about a greater awareness of your body and thoughts. Each is a great way to practice noticing what comes up but also being able to let whatever it is go and come back to the focus, it’s like weight lifting for the mind!

Perception. How we see or don’t see things/situations determines how we respond, really we have control. Actually realizing why you view things a certain way can help you potentially change your perspective into something more positive.

Being present. A few tools we learned for this was yoga and daily mindful activities. Yoga helps in creating awareness in our bodies, how we feel that day physically, what was good/uncomfortable/tight, focusing on movement, breath, areas that had emotion attached. Also, bringing awareness to daily activities was an interesting shift for me. For example with eating, most of us are talking/on social/working/watching TV right? Taking that away, and being 100% mindful here can create a compleately different experience. Eating while focusing only on the food, chewing slowly, looking at what you’re eating, ect. can create better digestion and contentment. I actually felt satisfied after the meals where I tried this, which helped keep me on track with what I ate the rest of the day.  

Communication/ Empathy/ Understanding with others. You’ve probably had communication with others that has left you feeling connected, respected and loved, while other interactions left you disconnected, disregarded or frustrated. When you feel threatened chances are you’re going to act in ways that don’t serve the relationship, you or the other person. For example you may stop listening or have difficulty expressing your emotions and needs clearly. This cycle can lead to blame, judging ect, which can make the other person feel defensive. Just like that empathy can disappear and we become fixated on our views. The answer, really hearing and actually listening. It’s easy to hear people, but actually listening and paying attention to more than just the words is important. Listening is when you intentionally and thoughtfully pay attention to the message the other person is conveying, which involves paying attention to cues besides the auditory. Actually noticing body language, tone and facial expression, making listening an actual choice compared to hearing. Also, really understanding what the other person needs out of the conversation, or putting yourself in their shoes ultimately helps everyone out. Another point worth mentioning is learning when to just let go. Learning what’s worth your time and energy for mutual understanding and when it simply makes more sense just to leave it alone.

Lastly, being aware of dealing with stress in a way of reacting or responding. So often we may find ourselves suppressing stress to avoid feeling it. This can show up as overworking, food, alcohol, drugs, ect. Again, having the ability to step back, notice your emotions/feeling and see the bigger picture from an aerial view can help you deal with issues in a more productive and healthy way.

Really the present moment is all we truly have, and I can’t think of anything more important than developing some type of practice to make the most of that time. We live in a world full of endless distractions and I believe people are starting to see that constantly being over stimulated isn’t fulfilling. It seems as though we’re all starting to crave simplicity and things that feel more real. Having the awareness to step back from emotions and thoughts to view from above without judgement can help your health, how you build relationships, and ultimately help you live with more ease and happiness.

Balance

Hi there, thanks for stopping by and welcome to my blog!

I thought balance was an appropriate first topic because finding it has been a long and ever changing journey for me. Finding a better balance in all aspects of my life has helped me a) be happier, b) be truer to myself, and c) helped me work towards my goals.

Getting in touch with your most authentic self is really the start to creating space and balance in your life. I know this sounds super obvious, but how often do you do things because others expect it of you or because you feel like you need to keep up with the people around you or because that behavior is deemed ‘normal’.

Most of my 20’s I was exhausting myself with seeking the approval of others and ‘keeping up with everyone around me’. I was  hardly sleeping, over exercising, not eating well, and saying yes to everything even at times when I was depelated. It took a pretty dramatic incident to help me realize I didn’t even know or like who I was anymore. I stopped myself, took inventory of my priorities and started paying attention to what I actually needed.

Things started feeling better, but the same issues seemed to creep up in new situations. I’d start to change who I was to please others, do or be whatever was best for them instead of putting myself first. I felt like I had to keep up this impossible image of perfection that was absolutely exhausting. I had this overwhelming feeling like I was tricking people into liking me because my insecurities were screaming that I could never be enough. That self doubt led to running myself into the ground, that is until my body finally said stop.

I started saying no and being selfish, only agreeing to do what I wanted and what made be feel my best. I starting surrounding myself with people that made me better and built me up. I’ve never been more true to myself, and that has seriously created a dominos effect in all other aspects in my life including nutrition, exercise, and rest.   

EATING TO FUEL MY BODY NOT PUNISH IT

I started to actually love and care for myself, and that involved eating well. I’ve probably tried everything under the sun when it comes to specific diets. After being super restrictive and mentally exhausted from anxiety and worry about eating a certain way, coming back to basics proved to be the best fit for me. Imagine that, eating when hungry, eating/chewing slowly, having carbs/fats/proteins at basically every meal, eating snacks, and paying attention to my body's reactions and energy levels was all it took to reach my goals. Eating this way has proven to work for me. What works for me may not work for someone else, paying attention to your own body is seriously the best nutritional advice I can give anyone. I eat dairy, I’m not scared of carbs, I have red meat occasionally, and sometimes I eat fries without feeling guilty or punishing myself with over exercising after. I fuel my body so that I can work hard in the gym, be productive, and (most importantly) because I enjoy food!  

RECOVERY BECOMING MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE WORK

It took a pretty serious injury and complete rock bottom emotionally to finally find balance with how I exercise. The simple version of the story is that I started focusing on recovery, worked out less, started lifting heavier, and focused on quality reps versus quantity. I’m the strongest I’ve ever been and feel 10000 times better. Unfortunately, too many people are under the impression that every workout needs to be harder than the last, that being at maximum capacity everyday is the way to maintain perfect health. This could not be farther from the truth! Stepping back, following good programing or working with a coach is the best way to get on track because it can be hard at first if you’re used to killing yourself in the gym on the regular.

Finally, allowing myself to decompress and rest was what truly helped me find a new center. Scheduling the time in each week not only improved my workouts but also helped me create better relationships, made me better at my job, helped me be more aware and more focused throughout the week. Sometimes it was just creating time to be alone, other times I use saunas, massage, acupuncture, or meditation. In the beginning I felt guilty about this time, like if I wasn’t being ‘productive’ or working that I was ‘wasting time.’ I stopped being so hard on myself and things started falling in line, everything seemed easier and clearer. Ultimately, creating space made it possible for me to think bigger and be more creative.

Realizing that less is more is something that has helped me break through my barriers and has helped me relate and help others. It helped me find joy in so many things that I hadn't been paying attention to previously and ultimately pushed me in the right direction. Creating space, finding your balance and thinking simply is sometimes all you need to reach a new place that you never thought could exist.